When Love Comes With Conditions

There’s something unsettling about hearing someone say they love you, yet knowing deep down they don’t fully accept you.

I didn’t hear those words directly. My husband did. He was the one my mother-in-law told, and as he always does, he shared it with me—not to hurt me, but to make sure I knew the truth. We’ve always had that kind of transparency between us, the kind that protects, not provokes.

Still, when he told me, it sat heavy in my spirit for days. Not because I needed her approval—but because I couldn’t understand how love could exist without acceptance.

I tried to reason with it.

I told myself, “Maybe that’s just how she communicates.”

But no matter how I framed it, it still felt like rejection dressed up in affection.

The Reflection That Followed

I don’t carry anger toward her. Honestly, I’ve been more reflective than anything. It made me think about how many times we, as people, say we love someone — but set limits on that love when their differences make us uncomfortable.

Maybe this is one of those lessons God uses to strengthen the heart. Because love that’s rooted in Him doesn’t come with conditions or categories. It’s patient, kind, and accepting — not because it always agrees, but because it chooses grace.

Holding Peace Without Validation

So, I’ve learned to hold peace even when I don’t feel received. To let love be my language even when it’s not spoken back the same way. And to remember that acceptance from others is never required when you know you’re already accepted by God.

Because truthfully, love without acceptance isn’t real love at all — it’s tolerance. And God didn’t call me to be tolerated; He called me to be loved and chosen.

🪞 Reflection

“Maybe this moment isn’t about being accepted by her… maybe it’s about learning to accept that not everyone will understand me, and that’s okay. My worth doesn’t shrink because someone else’s love has limits.”

✍🏾 Journal Prompt

“Who in my life do I need to stop seeking acceptance from — and start releasing to God?”